Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
