That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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