Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
