I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
