Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?

(1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit

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(316): View more from Kansas

Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.

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