I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
