Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
