i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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