3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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