i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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