So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
you never un-have a 4some
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize