you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
