phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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