no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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