so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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