I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He's a Shit stain on my heart
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
