I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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