Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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