Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
