Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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