i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
