i think i have two assholes
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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