I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
