You really coming over, don't trick.
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize
