Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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