If i come over, it means nothing
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
