Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
