We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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