I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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