I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
i think im in europe. pls send help
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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