I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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