I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
