Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
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I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
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You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
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