508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
