ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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