dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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