i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
