I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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