Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
