I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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