I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize