I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Four minutes until I can fart!
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
