Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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