a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
