moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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