the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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