WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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