please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
