You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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