i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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