a queef is a wish your heart makes.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
