I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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