One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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