Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
