ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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