I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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