I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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