why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
