i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
