Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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