why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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