nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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