come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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